These young people keep hollerinâ, âWeâre broke!â
No, you ainât broke, youâre just stupid with money!
I see yâall on social media, cryinâ about how ârentâs too highâ while youâre drinkinâ a $9 caramel drizzle oat milk frappuccino with extra foam and your phoneâs newer than my truck!
You got the iPhone 27 Ultra Plus Infinity or whatever theyâre on now, but you canât afford toilet paper.
They say, âWe canât afford a house.â
Well maybe if you stopped orderinâ DoorDash like itâs a food group, you could save a little down payment money.
Yâall treat DoorDash drivers like theyâre your personal butlers. Youâre payinâ $40 for a burrito and tip the guy who dropped it off more than your grandma gets in Social Security!
Back in my day, when we said we were broke, we meant broke.
Iâm talkinâ digging change outta the couch to buy ramen, broke.
I once paid for gas with quarters, nickels, and a Canadian coin I tried to sneak by. Thatâs broke.
Yâall say âIâm brokeâ but you got designer sneakers, fresh nails, and a weekend trip planned to Nashville with matching outfits and that stupid Lainey Wilson hat.
And every time you say, âIâm so broke,â itâs while youâre holdinâ a coffee drink that costs more than a steak dinner used to.
Theyâll have an app for budgeting, right? And the appâll send âem a notification sayinâ, âYouâve spent too much money this week.â
And instead of listeninâ, they go, âWell thatâs rudeâ and delete it!
You donât need financial advice, you need your mama to follow you around with a wooden spoon and whack you every time you click âAdd to Cart.â
I saw one girl online cryinâ about how she canât afford groceries⊠while holdinâ a Stanley Cup.
Not the hockey trophy, the $60 sippy cup!
That thing costs more than a week of groceries if you shop right!
And sheâs like, âBut it keeps my water cold for two days!â
Girl, if youâre broke, you donât need cold water, you need COLD hard cash!
And donât even get me started on âself-care.â
Everythingâs âself-careâ now.
âI had to buy this $400 weighted blanket, itâs for my mental health.â
Well honey, your mental health would improve dramatically if your Visa card stopped cryinâ every month.
They treat credit like Monopoly money.
âOh, Iâll just pay it later.â
Later never comes! Youâre out here payinâ interest like itâs a monthly subscription to your own bad decisions.
Youâre not broke youâre just livinâ way too fancy!
You got champagne taste and a Ramen noodle income.
And the worst part? Yâall act proud of it!
âIâm just living my best life.â
No, youâre living Visaâs best life.
So grow up, shut up and save up!