I make small crouching men. Men crouching. Small men. I’m probably on other app too linktr.ee/crabcreatures . No NFTs. No AI.

Joined May 2020
I was recently bitten by some kind of insect and I inherited all of its memories. I miss my hundreds of insectoid brothers and sisters. Also me on other website.
5
14
395
Today is Sophie’s birthday. We invited all her friends and grilled hamburgers but no one turned up. Even her favourite cigarettes can’t cheer her up.
81
948
36
7,998
Miguel, I’m sorry I hit you in the head with that hammer. I don’t know why I did it. I really care about you. Please come home.
14
177
4
3,033
Took Wesley to the pond today. The little scamp was so excited, he threw up twice.
17
235
9
3,398
Biggly smashed all the stray cats in the alley, causing the rat population to grow uncontrollably. So begins our joint business venture as rat milkers.
4
53
602
Brian kept saying “I am walking over here” in an unacceptable Italian-American accent, so I cast the fungus spell on him. The fungus spell is quickly becoming one of my top 5 spells.
8
77
1
1,078
Annabelle more than doubled her milk quota. In order to prevent wastage, each of my followers may take one large sip from the communal milk through. You cannot refuse the sip.
39
111
4
1,234
Crab Creatures retweeted
Remnants Statue of the Oink Lord. 3DModel by CrabCreatures (Twitter/3DCults), painted by me. Wanted to do something quick and fun
1
7
49
I caught Hogly doing what the youths describe as the “Fent Lean”. I don’t know what that means but I hit him with a stick anyway. I am sick of these children and their new trends.
9
126
4
1,593
I must have whipped about 9 of these things to death with my belt just this morning. They weren’t bothering me but they are probably evil because I currently do not feel any remorse.
8
58
592
Today we celebrate Ashley’s Quinceanera. Celebrate immediately. Quickly.
26
139
3
2,048
Blasted creature sprayed me with the poison ink. Vile little squid. Rancid little sea slug. Naturally, I am very upset.
18
483
4
4,341
Dillon has finally started to shed his mortal shell. As per tradition, his skin will be consumed by his younger siblings so that they, too, might grow strong and sprout ☺️.
8
58
835
Paul is becoming more silly each day. Yesterday he pulled out of our driveway in his Ford Taurus and didn’t even realise he had reversed over my infant son.
7
43
1
733
Crab Creatures retweeted
I've had this set aside for a while but I'm finally starting on this dubious creature @CrabCreatures
2
27
All jokes aside, thank you all for your support over the past few days. I can’t express how much it’s helped and I can’t thank you all enough. I hope I’m in a position to at least pay it forward soon ❤️
69
You have all been so very kind me. To thank you all, I will be releasing Boris for 12 hours. During this time, you may each pick a child for Boris to hunt and destroy ☺️.
I hate making serious posts but I’m in a bit of a pickle and it can’t hurt to ask. Please know I won’t be making a habit of posting like this, and I’ll be back to my regular content soon! Sharing this post is hugely appreciated. ko-fi.com/crabcreatures
Maurice ate two dozen oysters at the seafood buffet and threw up on the carpet. We both refuse to clean it up. It is festering.
5
51
769
The vile wizard turned me into a slug. I’m not hating it. I can eat as much dirt as I want without getting a bad tummy, and I can stick to more surfaces. Yet to see a downside tbh.
26
336
10
3,653