I hate my family but how dare they hate me. I hurt my family but how dare they hurt me. I damage my family but how dare they cut me off. I reveal personal information about my family but how dare they remain silent. I hurt my dying grandparents but how dare my family be upset

I’ve just been rather sternly reprimanded by the Lady of the Manor for daring to burn sage indoors. She inquired, with alarming sincerity, whether I possessed a death wish, as apparently the only “evil spirit” destined to perish under this roof from its magical properties was me. Having delivered this dire prophecy, she let out a cackle worthy of the ‘Witches of Eastwick’, seized her gin and tonic, and sashayed off without so much as a backward glance. And thus, I continue to endure this appalling lack of respect on a daily basis. One can only admire my bravery in the face of such domestic tyranny.

Well… Meghan Markle has been known to steal shoes, soooooooo… it’s not much of a stretch!

You want kilts? I got kilts! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿💙🎩

We will remember them…

Major Ollie Plunket during the National Service Of Remembrance at The Cenotaph.

Lieutenant Colonel Jonny Thompson during the National Service Of Remembrance at The Cenotaph.🇬🇧

My Sunday evening rambling thoughts.... "No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man." — Heraclitus (c. 535–475 BCE) I heard this today, on Remembrance Sunday. It got me thinking about where we are in this country today. We honour those who sacrificed their lives and gave everything so we could live freely.  In both World Wars, I am sure people prayed to “go back to normal.” But war changes rivers. And men. You don’t survive hell unchanged.  Today, many wish for our lives in Britain to “return to how it was.” I feel that way too But the river has shifted. Mass immigration, foreign ideologies, eroded morals have all been forced on us by failed leaders have had a huge impact. Some of this can never be erased. Even if every illegal immigrant left tomorrow, the water has moved.  So I think we need to draw new lines.  For me, the Non-negotiables are: The safety of our children & women. I want my daughters and grandchildren and future generations to be able to live freely, enjoy going out to parks and school without the fear of an attack or having any man be inappropriate to them. Our own people need to come first. No more giving our money to fund those who are here from another country and who won’t stand on their own two feet. If you don’t hold a British passport and can’t support yourself 100% that’s not our burden to bear.  No more caving to their demands for us to change to accommodate their beliefs. 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 That's enough deep thinking for a Sunday from me. 😁

Remembrance Day Today, we pause in the stillness of our own freedoms and remember those who never tasted theirs. Barely grown men, and boys not yet steady in their stride, marched into the mouth of war with nothing but courage in their chests and the hope of a better world held tight against their hearts. They lay in foreign fields beneath indifferent skies. They wrote trembling letters home that would never be answered. Their mothers wept into uniforms folded too neatly. Their fathers stood silent in doorways, aged decades in a single heartbeat. And the world, drenched in their blood, was handed back to us… cleaner, quieter, freer. We promised them something. We promised that their sacrifice would not be forgotten; that the liberties bought with their youth would never be bargained away; that the horrors they endured would be the inheritance we refused to pass on. Yet today, we watch freedoms erode by whispers and signatures, by fear and convenience. Rights once defended by courage are surrendered by apathy. Voices once raised in the trenches are drowned out by the polite silence of those afraid to offend. So stand. Stand in gratitude, not comfort. Stand in remembrance, not ritual. Stand for the freedoms carved into the soil of Flanders and Normandy, in the sands of Gallipoli, and the icy air of Korea. We owe them more than poppies pinned to our lapels. We owe them vigilance. May the young who never grew old be honoured not only with silence, but with action. With courage. With the defence of the rights they died believing we deserved. At the going down of the sun, and in the morning, We will remember them.

They’ve never been known to be a particularly ‘smart’ bunch #SussexSquad

I’ve decided to curate Christmas this year to exactly what ‘I want’… I’m in the process of sending out Christmas cards, not only to friends and family, but offensive cards to my annoying neighbours, with messages like… “To the absolute twat with the noisy dirt bike, I hope you step on Lego and crash into your Christmas tree” Then I’m going to sign it from another neighbour I don’t like. Time to spread some ‘Laird’ Christmas cheer!💙🎩🎄

Come visit Australia… if you dare!

How can we organise a knighthood for this man?

Meghan Markle: Laird, be honest, Am I a hoe? Laird: You’re not ‘just’ a hoe, Meghan, you’re a warning label. You’re the reason they invented ‘Plan B’, Penicillin and restraining orders! Meghan Markle: 😮

Meghan Markle: Laird… why does no one take me seriously? Laird: Because every time to open your mouth either a lie, a moan or an STD falls out. Meghan: 😳 Laird: The only thing serious about you, Meghan, is the smell! Meghan: 😡

'A real page turner' - The New York Times

This is what I’m talking about👇🏻 This is my timeline right now! So bloody boring!

Run buddy… just run… run as fast as you can! 🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️

Is it just me or has X been inundated with a cavalcade of posts asking stupid questions?

💯