I have a theory that
1) we've all been implicitly trained on How to Do First Dates without realizing it,
2) that training is very bad,
3) it's even worse in a world with dating apps, which create the expectation of a particular person who's never exactly the one who shows up
It's actually mysterious how many smart single people there are that cannot find a partner.
So many people want a well-defined thing, and that thing exists in droves, and they cannot find it. Also it's each-other.