Can you imagine being so high maintenance that you complain (while golfing) that golf is too slow?
Decided to play municipal golf this morning instead of my usual Saturday game, and we were the 2nd group to tee off.
Here is an open letter to the group in front of us:
It takes a special kind of talent to tee off first, in carts, on an empty course, and still drag the entire day into a four-hour-and-twenty-minute crawl. Trulyโremarkable work. Somewhere, a sloth is tipping its cap.
But the part that really deserves recognition? You didnโt even bother to show up to the tee on time. We were standing thereโbags down, ready to go, civilized members of societyโwhile you rolled up late like you were arriving for brunch instead of the first tee time of the day.
And then, instead of, I donโt knowโฆ teeing off, you launched into a full pre-round performance art piece: pulling out your orange whip, stretching bands, and a whole collection of training aids like you were filming a commercial for how not to start a round. A full mobile warm-up routine. On the tee. At 7 a.m.
And the payoff for your meticulous prep?
The slowest. Round. Meadowbrook. Has. Seen. In. Years.
You were in carts, with no one ahead of you, and still managed a pace so slow that groups three holes back were discussing the meaning of life on tee boxes. You didnโt set the paceโyou clogged the arteries of the entire property.
So from all of us who spent the morning waiting, staring, aging, and wondering how the first group became the problem:
Please, do better.