wonderful. those qualities don't get brought up nowadays, but they're pretty much the undisputed backbone of society

The tough part of this is that this is ultimately up to the other person's taste, and in developer settings a lot of the typical extroversion / charisma mechanisms seem to actually hurt you. I've seen candidates rejected by introverted interviewers for "having too much personality" or "being too domineering." There's a lot of weird game theory stuff around in-group / out-group signaling around being a "culture fit." It definitely helps to have good emotional intelligence, but the name of the game seems to be being able to "read the room," reflect back the energy that other people are putting off, and subtly find ways to make people feel good. What works for achievement-oriented introverted developers won't work for software sales.

a lot of "likable" people are insufferable from personal experience in a corpo environment Is it more about being likable to the right people