Steak-umm
 @steak_umm

ummmmm

 Pennsylvania
steakumm.com
Joined September 2009
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College football is better than the pros mainly because they still have live animal mascots at the games
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if you’re wondering why you see less “unhinged’ content and more rage-bait from brands, it’s because they discovered it’s easier to get rewarded for causing mass-anger than to just be funny. don’t fall for their lack of effort, beeflings steak-umm bless
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maybe pumpkin spice is here in august because marketers know there’s nothing to get us motivated during this forsaken month
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wild seeing so many creators “retire” from burnout. the hobby of making fun videos became a job, and that job became much harder as algorithms demanded more content. essentially, the internet rebuilt broadcast TV but with no PTO
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steakcuterie board
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“i asked gpt” “i asked grok” i cracked open the spine of a physical piece of media because i yearn for the thrill of manually expanding my own mind
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solution to the literacy gap? make reading incentive programs but for adults you read a book and i’ll send you one of these bad boys in the mail
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we’re not polarized, we’re scrolling two completely separate timelines that both groups think is the main one
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who would’ve thought our generation’s moon landing moments, where everyone's attention is captivated by the same spectacle, would be happening on podcasts hosted by football players
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reminder to beeflings starting classes, 8am in high school and 8am in college are not the same thing
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france, if you're looking for something 100% real our beef sheets are here for you
BBC News (World)
 @BBCWorld
Aug 8
Is Perrier as pure as it claims? The bottled water scandal gripping France bbc.in/4mrtzbk
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america’s favorite genre of TV is “what if people competed for basic needs and also love while rich people judged them”
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why is 40 the new 30? could be botox but also the system we’re living in hasn’t caught up to reality which means the milestones our parents hit in their 20s are ones we can only dream to achieve at 42
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so eating a cheesesteak and driving is "unsafe" but adding shareholder value while merging onto the interstate isn't
Exec Sum
 @exec_sum
Jul 25
NEWS: Mercedes-Benz is integrating Microsoft Teams into its vehicles, starting with the new CLA model.
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some people like shrooms with their therapy. some people like shrooms with their philly same goal of transcendence, different vehicle
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it must feel really good for the beef sheet when the paper gets peeled off
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we’ve gotten too nonchalant, i’m ready to start being chalant about some stuff
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by age 30 you should either be chronically online or completely unreachable
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if politicians had to say “paid partnership with Raytheon” out loud while presenting a bill we might finally see some change
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