standup comedian, darling writer, woman about town

Brooklyn, NY
Joined February 2013
@Mets My roommate Sabrina spent all week constructing her Home Run Apple costume and yesterday she won 1st place in the halloween costume contest!!!
2
7
602
Every time a tiktok of mine gets posted on this app something goes horribly horribly wrong so actually a bit scared and bracing myself
23
This Youtube Short was recommended to me months ago and still to this day the phrase “Topher Grace was really careful about who he let in” remains a core part of my lexicon
2
9
154
So sad that this generation of white boys cope with loneliness by turning into incels… whatever happened to sitting ur ass down and writing a song called Iris? Putting pen to paper about how down bad you are?
1
137
1,625
Keara Sullivan retweeted
🤭🤭🤭🤭
2
699
2
11,171
Keara Sullivan retweeted
i love my country new york
6
4,408
63
23,814
“You’re not like other girls” ok well I actually love and admire other girls so now I’m just offended
4
840
12
5,578
People who don’t google the restaurant menu in advance lowkey scare me like damn you really don’t give a fuck huh I’m gonna start calling you Wildcard
6
1
148
How is a woman supposed to focus on the plot under these conditions ?????
He’s literally out mugging men whom I had previously believed to be outmugable… just ridiculous
Denzel Washington is so ridiculously hot in Much Ado About Nothing that it’s genuinely distracting. Every time he comes on screen all I can think is “This might be the hottest anyone has ever been in human history.” It’s absurd.
Keara Sullivan retweeted
The thing about me is I need you so much closer
123
958
173
13,559
The truth is that sometimes an Imagine Dragons song is good and we as a society need to accept that truth and accept that real life isn’t always black and white
7
157
27
1,803
I can always tell when a girl’s instagram photo dump captioned “Heart so full of love” is genuine vs. when it’s a performance for her situationship that’s putting her through the ringer
3
124
13
3,964
Do right wing men know that they can experience momentary horniness without turning into the riddler…
This is the vanity that ignites the bonfire of self-sabotage, where privilege masquerades as defiance and the mirror eclipses the map. The ponytail pulled high, like a flag of casual conquest. The earbud dangling, a whisper of distraction in an already echo-chambered mind. The grin that’s all teeth and no teeth. It’s all bright, performative, the kind that says “I’ve won the argument by not engaging it.” Her words? A shrug in text form: “too bad i did today.” Not an explanation, not a rationale. Just a taunt wrapped in faux regret, a middle finger flipped with a wink. She’s not debating policy. She’s declaring independence from advice, from consequence, from the very stakes that affect everyone around her. “You said don’t,” she implies, “so I did, and here’s my face to prove it.” She doesn’t grasp the irony: that in bucking the warning, she’s courting the very erosion of the safeguards she takes for granted. Those rights she has? They’re privileges. She will lose them and when she does she’ll blame you for giving her the lighter she used to set her house on fire. She contributes a pixel to the chaos, yet claims the whole screen. Entitled to the echo, oblivious to the void. She is the echo chamber itself—resonant, reflective, and utterly empty.
8
14
1,143
“My concern is not artificial intelligence, but natural stupidity” is such a banger oh my god
Guillermo del Toro says “I’d rather die” than use generative AI “My concern is not artificial intelligence, but natural stupidity. I think that's what drives most of the world's worst features” (Source: npr.org/2025/10/23/nx-s1-557…)
2
118
1,503
Chopaholic, noun. A beautiful woman who exclusively dates chopped men.
Choppelgänger, noun. Someone that looks like you, but very chopped.
1
51
6
811
I’ve decided it’s high time I give back to my community, so today I’ll be wearing form-fitting yoga pants on my walk to the post office
6
23
2,138
For the fourth time in eight days, Pope Leo takes direct aim at Donald Trump's abuse of migrants in the United States. He calls immigrants to the United States “witnesses of hope” and encourages Catholics to do all we can to welcome them.
10 films to get to know me :)
Too many to choose from but here are 10 films to get to know me 🫶🏻
12
4
392
26 years old today !! Ahhhhhh !!
15
9
3
1,077