> be Mustafa > have your business acquired by Microsoft for $650,000,000 so they can hire you > become “AI CEO” at Microsoft, LinkedIn can’t keep up with the title updates > rename literally everything to Copilot: Windows Copilot, Word Copilot, Solitaire Copilot, Clippy Copilot (now with GPT-4 hallucinations) > spend $70B on GPUs, still lose the Nvidia restock to a crypto TikToker named EthereumElon > promise AGI “by Q2,” accidentally launch Bing that generates 3-hour motivational speeches when you search “nearest gas station” > GitHub Copilot learns to rhyme, starts rewriting production code as Shakespeare fanfic > Azure region goes down, official status page replaced with a mid-journey selfie of an AI-generated Satya crying in the rain > shareholders: “what about profits?” > you: show a DALL-E slide deck with flying monkeys labeled ‘synergy’ > mandatory Teams update: “AI-powered eye contact” and now everyone in the meeting looks like a Sims character staring directly into your soul > ethics training run by Tay 2.0, lasts 43 seconds before it starts posting memes > internal memo: “losses will increase meaningfully, but we have 400% more vibes” > 2025: request another $150B to “democratize digital spirituality” > mfw Clippy is the only one who understands me now, and he’s writing this in Comic Sans

This is the most bullish chart i've seen since a long time > cleanest narrative > most based team > great accumulation > about to giga send Do you want the CA?

i was doing this as early as last year so whatever

£4 for brown sauce is diabolical I’m sorry

FAA ISSUES GROUND STOP FOR CHICAGO O'HARE DUE TO STAFFING FAA ISSUES GROUND STOP AT JOHN F. KENNEDY AIRPORT OVER STAFFING

These two hypocrites just flew 6000 miles in separate planes to lecture the rest of us on carbon emissions ✈️💨

They're so fat that standing upright for half an hour bursts the blood vessels in their legs They call it The Disney Rash because their annual trip to Disney is the one time in the year that they stand upright for half an hour

#tbt sorry we missed this, Mr. Mayor-Elect

Omg is it finally ALT season guys?

If you invested $100K in Zcash just two months ago, it’d be worth about $1.25M right now. Not sure who needs to hear this, but it’s probably a good time to lock in some profits. $ZEC had a great run, but sometimes you’ve got to stop while you’re ahead, especially in a choppy market like this.

WATCH 🚨| RFK Jrs response to a man fainting at White House is going viral: