A Year On
Honor thy Mother
Last year, I wrote a tribute to my father. He was a good man. A strong man. An amazing dad.
This year, on the anniversary of his passing, I want to honor my mom.
Dad achieved incredible things. He served his country with excellence and honor, he provided for us three kids, and he built for their retirement.
Dementia linked to his service in Korea took dad from us a piece at a time. As a son, living 12 hours away, it was difficult enough. I often contemplate how difficult it was for her. That was her life 24/7 for years.
I cannot imagine the strength it took for my mom to endure, to care for him, to see his every need met, and finally to say good-bye to him when he was finally went Home.
Dementia took bits of dad, but it took bits of Mom, too. Every visit, I could count the toll. Yet she never wavered. She knew there was no reward for her at the end.
Mom always did what was right, and through love and kindness, she led not just Dad, but all of us kids through his passing.
Yes, my fatherโs shadow is tall. But he only stood that high because of the equally extraordinary woman who supported and loved him for decades.
They were so equally matched. Always united as they faced the world (and us rather ornery kids).
She became the first college graduate of her family. Even in the midst of her selfless work for dad and us kids, she built her own amazing career. I look up to her achievements and hope I come close with my own life.
My mom, descended of farmers, descended of immigrants, who worked the land to bring forth their American dreams, put no less work into all of us. She enabled all of our dreams, and took nothing for herself.
As is so often the case, many women of my momโs generation are seen by others through the lens of their husbands. It was the culture and how they were raised.
But I see my mom as the strongest person I have ever known. I see the endless work she put into all of us, and still does to this day.
Despite my many failings, I hope through work and redemption to one day be half the man my father was. But it is my mom who gave me the skills, the work ethic, and the moral compass to see myself through the darkest of times.
And when I finally stand in the sun, it will be Mom I thank.
I love you, Mom.
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My name is Chris. I sometimes write as Emily Dawn.
I am an MtF transsexual who has never once used womenโs spaces, nor called himself a woman. My mother remains the person I look up to most.
She is wise, strong, and steady. And I know that if most of these people I argue day in, day out, with had a mom like mine, the world would be a much better place.