Almost 20 years ago, God changed my life in a very direct way. I considered myself agnostic at the time. I was at my lowest point. I was angrier than I knew I was capable of being and was like this for months. I kept trying to find ways to fix it myself but nothing worked. My chest physically hurt all the time from it.
My wife asked me if I’d asked God for help and I had not. I didn’t think it would do any good. I didn’t know.
So I quickly bowed my head and simply said, “God, please help me forgive.” Then I went to bed.
I woke up in the middle of the night and the pain was gone. The anger was gone. I felt like a completely different person. It was as if a switch flipped inside me and it was permanent.
At that moment, my doubts were erased. That was the moment that I went from acting like a Christian, knowing what to say to fit in…to being one.
I will always have work to do to get better and things that I will discover I cannot change without the help of God. I have said things today for which I’m deeply ashamed and hope to earn forgiveness. What I have discovered is that God often answers prayers when those prayers align with what God would want for you.
I also believe that I needed to reach my low point and to realize that I could not get out alone to truly appreciate what God had done for me.
I don’t know why I feel compelled to share this testimony tonight, but I hope that it provides comfort to someone who reads it.
May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart, be pleasing and acceptable in thy sight, oh Lord, my strength and my redeemer.